Hell hath no fury ...

like a woman who's discovered her husband has been cheating on her!



Saw this blackboard in the grounds of a restaurant, The Hamilton Strand, on Friday afternoon as I walked by. When I walked back 10 mins later, it'd been scrubbed off.

I guess someone's been a naughty boy!

Look what I found, Ma!

On the weekend, Michael kicked over the long plank of wood that had been lying in the western paddock. Mim had been using it as a balance beam and we just thought it was an old plank, nothing special.

It is special though, this is what was underneath it!


Apparently the property name was changed to Woollybutt for a short while before reverting back to Longueville. Will have to find somewhere nice to mount it. The sign doesn't look that old.

120th Balmoral Show

Saturday was the 120th Balmoral Show. We chose to go to it rather than the Hamilton Hospital Fete or the Lucenedale Field Day.



Caitlin entered two of her photos in the Junior Photography competition. She was very pleased to have won second prize in the Human Portrait division, with her photo of Mim. Seeing some of the other entries and what won first and second prizes in each division, I'm surprised that she actually won something. Not because hers weren't good, they were. But because the judging criteria appears to be solely on whom the judges know, not on the composition of the photos!! I'm not being biased here, but Caitlin's photos were better than the majority of other photos entered. And looking at the other divisions that Caitlin didn't enter, the first/second places were not what I would have chosen!! For starters, a slightly blurred photo of dark water would not have been my choice of winner of the Landscape division! Nor the photo of two ceramic frogs for the Senior Animal Portraits!



But aside from that, we had a good time. The girls had camel rides, horse and cart rides, had their faces painted and watched the "orange dancing" (Irish dancing) as Mim called it.



We spoke with a lady with her very cute Kelpie/Coolie puppy called Thowra, who also had her leg bandaged - a horse had stepped on it. I was able to enlighten the lady that her child had named the puppy after Elaine Mitchells' The Silver Brumby.

Notice the one blue, one brown eye

We decided to call it quits by 1.30pm as it was getting quite warm (34 degrees) and we'd "done" the Show.



Took the back way home and decided to take the kids to the pool in the afternoon. It was lovely sitting in the pool chatting to one of the mums whilst watching some large black clouds sweep around Coleraine. Not a drop hit us. Then the lifeguards heard of a possible thunderstorm heading our way, so everyone had to vacate the pool. There was a lot of dust around because of the winds, and it smelt rather smoky, which put everyone on edge. But nothing came of it.

I like playing with Picasa!

cropping

adding text

collage with tints

Ballerina girl

New girls in town

Lulu is no longer Queen Bee.

My new sheep arrived yesterday. Two white Lincolns, two black English Leicesters and a black Corriedale.



Ethel and Lulu didn't know what had hit them. Cecily immediately switched loyalties and went off with the older women, she didn't give a damn what Ethel and Lulu did now.

Ethel has slowly been won around by the others, she's into flock mentality as well.

But Lulu is beside herself. She kept running up to the house yard, baaaing away and then running back to join the flock then back to me, then back to them.



Michael feed them some oats last night. As per normal, Ethel and Lulu went in for the kill, shoving Cecily out of the way. Then came the new girls and they bunted Lulu and Ethel well out of the way. Seniority rules!

Youthful love

Mim confided in me yesterday: "I have two boyfriends"
My eyebrows raised "TWO!"
"Yes, Jackson...... and Oscar, from Kindy"
"Oscar! But what about Edward?"
"He's just a friend. And I'm going to invite them all to my birthday party"
"Hmmmm, maybe it might be better to only invite one boyfriend at a time, you don't want them to get into a fight"
"Why would they fight?"
"They might fight over being your boyfriend."
"Oh, yes it might be a good idea. I'll invite Oscar to my party. I'm going to marry Jackson."

(Poor Edward, he writes her notes 'I love you Jemima', his heart will be broken)

Burglar Alarm System

Margaret was broken into again last week. Apparently the bugger tried the kitchen windows (which were locked), so they pulled the wheelie bin up to the bathroom window, climbed up the drain and entered through that. This was all at night, whilst Margaret was sleeping. They even entered her bedroom to steal her handbag (luckily she doesn't keep her purse in it so that was safe, and you'll never guess the place she keeps her valuable jewellery!!! Nobody would find them!!!). Luckily, she slept through the whole thing, who knows what this creep would have done if she'd woken up.

This is about the third time in two years that she has been robbed. Last time she was gardening around the side of the house, with back and front screen doors locked, when an enterprising young turd climbed in through the kitchen window. The insurance people said it should have all been locked up, even though she was still on the property! Why should one have to live in a cage with barred windows and doors (fire hazards)! Why should one have to lock oneself inside the house and then shut all windows even to do a spot of gardening!! Older people are more at risk of falls within the home, think how difficult would it be for emergency personnel to reach said person if all the house was locked up tight with bars on the windows!!

So I have a plan. An ingenious security system, almost failproof!

We'll send Lulu up to Margaret.

Think of the benefits Margaret will get:

1. Her lawn "mown" for free
2. It'll piss off the neighbour
3. Free fertiliser
4. Lulu will come running each time she hears a person, baaing very VERY loudly, better than any barking dog
5. It'll piss off the neighbour
6. Margaret will never have to prune again (her plants may not survive Lulu's pruning, but let's ignore that fact).
7. It'll REALLY piss off her neighbour

Okay, so there might be a few drawbacks. Like Margaret will have to replace her front fence to a six foot high chainwire to stop Lulu from jumping out onto the street. And Lulu will jump into the neighbour's yard and poo in their pool and decimate their BH&G backyard (oh, wait, is that a drawback???)

So, anytime you want to take me up on this offer, Margaret, just call and I'll have Lulu shipped up straight away!

Or, you could have Jess.

Karaoke in Coleraine - Oh What a Night!!

Saturday night was karaoke night at the pub. What a fun night it was!!

The karaoke man obviously had groupies, they follow him from pub to pub and they went first. Most of them were quite good, although Spider had difficulty in keeping in time with the music.

We started with the usual Coleraine favourites - Patsy, Slim, Johnny, Dolly and other country type stuff. Michael got up and tried Leaving on a Jet Plane, he sang well although the song choice was crap.

The alcohol flowed freely and some other punters decided to try their luck. We had to listen to a really crap version of some rap song, sung by a shearer who couldn't keep up with the words. Something about Miss Johnston, sorry to hurt your daughter but I'm for reeeeeaaaaaallllllllll. And one of the younger men (Les Kaine's nephew) did an excellent version of AC/DC's Whole Lotta Rosie.

It was while Michael was singing that I was joined at the table by Steve. Steve, who tried to pick me up. Steve who had consumed copious amounts of beer by this stage. STeve, who bought me a beer (I don't drink that nasty smelly stuff) and a lemon squash for Caitlin. Steve, who first thought Caitlin was my sister, and then thought Michael was my father in law. Steve, who asked three times how old I was and then expressed surprise each time that I was a month older than him. Steve who told me how nice I was and how he could 'go' for me. Steve who tried to put his hand on my ass! Steve, who walked into the ladies' toilets because he was too drunk to read the signs. Poor Steve!

I don't know whether to be flattered that I could still pull (albeit someone with extreme beer goggles on) or pissed that Michael didn't feel any need to rescue me from him!!! Michael was laughing at him!!!!!!

Poor Steve went on to tell me his life story, married at 23, divorced 18mths later, his current missus doesn't understand him, she got tickets for the big concert in Melbourne but didn't get him one, he wants a tribe of kids, how do you get pregnant because he's been 'going for it' with the missus but she isn't pregnant yet..... How the hell do you answer that one!!!! I just asked him if he had sheep, just to observe them.

He was a nice enough looking bloke, but why couldn't I have pulled the young man that Jemima was stalking! Sam was young (20), blond, thin but muscly, and his girlfriend didn't even mind that he danced with Jemima 5 times!! Poor Sam, Caitlin put his name down with Michael to sing Sweet Transvestite - he'd never seen Rocky Horror. The look of horror on his face during the non-duet was very funny! (Michael taught Sam 5 years ago at Casterton).

Mim and her object of affection, Sam

I even danced the Twist with Jemima and Stewie - well, we twisted and Stewie did the Milton Chook Scratch (he really does look like a chook scratching the dirt).

It was after karaoke finished at 1am and the bar closed that we could gather the troops to go home. Jemima had kept coming up to me and saying "I'm not tired!" (not surprising, she slept for three hours that afternoon), but she burst into tears when the karaoke finished, because she hadn't had a turn! Michael offered a lift home to Steve (who'd been insisting that he'd drive home!!) but Steve disappeared after Michael turned his back for two seconds.

All in all, it was a friggin' great night!

Braincell does it again

Friday the 13th was supposed to be a quiet day. I'd planned to do some housework (ie ironing) and then Jess had a vet appointment at 2pm for a quick check of her cast. Well, that was how the day was supposed to work.

The sheep jumped into the yard after Michael had left for work. I put Sarah outside on her chain, to prevent Lulu from coming into our back patio/shed thingy. I'd bought a bag of oats on Thursday and some lucerne, and Lulu had decided that she likes oats. Really, really likes oats.

I thought I was smart, I'd shut all the solid doors so Jess couldn't push open the screen doors, as she is wont to do. Not smart enough though. Mim started yelling "Mum, Mum, Jess is outside!" I went inside to discover that Braincell had jumped up on the lounge and pushed out the screen on the window and jumped over 5 feet to the garden bed below - all with a broken leg!!!!! I expected to find a whimpering crushed body below the window, maybe another two or three broken bones, or at least the pinned bone beyond repair.

But no, the Bitch went racing around the outside of the house, through a gap in the fence, up the western paddock, along to the eastern paddock and up to the top paddock. Through wet grass. There was nothing wrong with her leg. It took me five minutes of chasing after her, she'd run so far and then stop and look at me as if to say "ha, ha, you can't catch me". I ended up using trickery, bending down and calling for Morticia (the cat). Braincell couldn't resist, she came loping up and I pounced on her.

The bandage was soaked! And it's not supposed to get wet. So, rang the vet and arranged to take her straight over to be checked out.

Did I mention that it was foggy? As in most of the trip to Casterton was through a white wall, where visibility was only about 30m?

Left Braincell at Casterton and drove home, too exhausted to even think of ironing. Went back a few hours later to get her - no damage at all! The wound was healing well and the vet took out the stitches a day early and put a new bandage over the cast.

What catastrophe is that dog going to be involved in next?????

It's like living with Captain Ahab!

In the still of the night, with only the muted sounds and flickering blue light of the TV emanating from the lounge room, the quiet is almost absolute..... except for the thump.....thump.....thump.... of Captain Ahab pacing the decks looking for Moby Dick. No wait - it isn't Ahab, it's Jess and her cast. Walking down the hallway.

Or we get thump.thump.thump.thump as she pelts down the hallway in pursuit of the cat/Gomez/Sarah/Jemima/ or just for the sake of it. She can even jump up onto all of our beds (except Caitlin's loft bed of course).

You'd think a broken leg would slow someone down, but no. Dogs cope quite well on three legs, the fourth is an added bonus.

Twice, she has gotten out the door and flown up the paddock in search of some sheep to round up. The cast doesn't slow her at all. I live in fear of the sheep managing to bunt her leg and rebreak it!

Ladies, what do you think?

I'd like to know what you readers think about this legal ownership of property conundrum that is facing me.

Say your partner was given a Terry's Orange Chocolate before Christmas last year, and that Orange Chocolate is still sitting in the fridge. Bearing in mind that chocolate has a use by date of less than 48 hours after purchase (ignore the date the manufacturers give you on the box, they have no idea what they are talking about), and the fact that the chocolate has been untouched for almost 3 months - does this mean that the property has been abandoned????? And is up for grabs by any chocoholic (aged over 21, Caitlin and Jemima)!!!

Also bear in mind that said ex-owner of chocolate would leave his Easter eggs in the fridge until almost Christmas!

Let me know what you think!?!?

Marg, Marg, the rains are here!

Yes, we've had a few showers over the last 24 hours. This is worthy of its own blog. Although most of the showers are that very fine rain (poofter fairy rain, Michael likes to call it, no offense to any homosexuals reading this, Michael just likes to show off his crimson cervix (redneck) tendencies to offend people), there have been at least two occasions that I've listened to water streaming down the downpipes ... and into our water tanks. The tank levels have risen an inch in the last 24 hours ... so KEEP RAINING!!!!

Disaster Dog Does It Again

Jess is a harbinger of bad luck. First, her existence as a puppy was under threat, she was to be shot if the farmer couldn't give her away.

Next came the grass seed in the neck on Christmas Eve.

Her latest catastrophe; as Caitlin was walking (running) her on Monday night, Jess stepped in a hole and hurt her leg. The paw was hanging at 45 degree angle to her leg. The after hour vet we called said that if it wasn't a hip dislocation, she could wait until morning to be seen. So poor Jess spent Monday night in the laundry, hobbling around on three legs.

On Tuesday morning, I took her over to the vet in Casterton. We were lucky (?) that Kindy had been cancelled for the day, due to potential fire risks. It was very VERY gusty and still quite dry. The drive along the ridge to Casterton was fun, hanging onto the wheel for dear life as the car was pushed sideways on the road by the winds. At two points, visibility was very limited because of the dust flying across the road.

goodbye topsoil from the bushfire affected area

Anyway, the vet had a prod and guessed that her metacarpals were broken (the bones between your wrist and your knuckles. We arranged to leave Jess there so she could have some Xrays later in the morning. Mim was in tears as we left - would the vet look after Jess, would she be okay, would she have something nice for dinner???

The vet called just after lunch, the Xrays confirmed her diagnosis - all four metacarpals were fractured (if it'd just been two, she could have been splinted). She would require surgery and either pins or minibone plates to fix her. It would be expensive. Very expensive. Did we want her fixed?

Of course we wanted her fixed (well, Jemima and I did, didn't ask Michael for fear of what his opinion might be :) So surgery was arranged for Wednesday morning. It was successful. The two middle metacarpals were held together with minibone plates and the outside two were aligned and a splint put on her leg. She will require extensive TLC and be out of action for about 8 weeks. But she has youth on her side, the bones should heal quickly.


Of course, her splint and bandage MUST remain dry. So guess what - after months and months of no rain, it started raining yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bugger tempting fate by leaving the washing on the line, or leaving windows open - No, if you want to get it to rain, just arrange for your dog to break its leg and then spend over a thousand dollars having it fixed. Works every time!!!

Another year older, but certainly no wiser..

Last Saturday was the big 35. Half way to 70.

I'd sort of planned to visit the Wood,Wine and Roses festival at Heywood.... until I looked at the programme at the local paper, and realised it would be an expensive, yet boring day. So then I suggested that maybe we could drive down to Cape Bridgewater and Nelson, as I hadn't been down there yet. But they had bushfires down there so that didn't seem like a goer either.

Had to work Friday night, but it was dinner as usual at the pub. I placed my order with Michael before I left work and drove home to get changed before going back to the pub.

Imagine my surprise when I walked in to find Mum there! It was the best birthday present as I'd been missing her a lot.

So, on Saturday, we toured the highlights of Hamilton (that took 20 mins) and then went out to Tarrington for lunch. Service was abominably slow, and my hamburger was tepid. Mum's vegetable lasagne looked really good though. Then we drove home, via Penshurst, Dunkeld, Cavendish, through Coleraine, out to Merino, Sandford and then the back road that ends up near our property. Just a little drive!

Sunday, we went over to the Mount and did tourist things. We looked at the Blue Lake,


and the Cave Gardens,



watched some lunatic teenage boys dice with death (or at least with paraplegia) as they ran around the inside of the fence at Cave Gardens. Mim decided to pick us one of the many roses in the garden beds at the Gardens and got a bit upset when I told her that the flowers weren't for picking.


We dined at Macs Hotel and then drove home via Nelson, Dartmoor and Digby. At Nelson, we wandered down to the ocean beach and took a few shots of the southern ocean. Looked rather cool for swimming.

On Monday, Caitlin was given the day off school, so we took Mum for a drive over to Casterton, then back to Coleraine.
view from the Muntham

The girls really enjoyed her visit, as did I. Poor Nana didn't get to sleep on her own once, Mim was her personal hot water bottle. Hopefully next time you come down, Mum, it might be a bit greener (it'll definitely be cooler).


trying to prevent Nana from leaving

really really unattractive uniform!