Karaoke in Coleraine - Oh What a Night!!

Saturday night was karaoke night at the pub. What a fun night it was!!

The karaoke man obviously had groupies, they follow him from pub to pub and they went first. Most of them were quite good, although Spider had difficulty in keeping in time with the music.

We started with the usual Coleraine favourites - Patsy, Slim, Johnny, Dolly and other country type stuff. Michael got up and tried Leaving on a Jet Plane, he sang well although the song choice was crap.

The alcohol flowed freely and some other punters decided to try their luck. We had to listen to a really crap version of some rap song, sung by a shearer who couldn't keep up with the words. Something about Miss Johnston, sorry to hurt your daughter but I'm for reeeeeaaaaaallllllllll. And one of the younger men (Les Kaine's nephew) did an excellent version of AC/DC's Whole Lotta Rosie.

It was while Michael was singing that I was joined at the table by Steve. Steve, who tried to pick me up. Steve who had consumed copious amounts of beer by this stage. STeve, who bought me a beer (I don't drink that nasty smelly stuff) and a lemon squash for Caitlin. Steve, who first thought Caitlin was my sister, and then thought Michael was my father in law. Steve, who asked three times how old I was and then expressed surprise each time that I was a month older than him. Steve who told me how nice I was and how he could 'go' for me. Steve who tried to put his hand on my ass! Steve, who walked into the ladies' toilets because he was too drunk to read the signs. Poor Steve!

I don't know whether to be flattered that I could still pull (albeit someone with extreme beer goggles on) or pissed that Michael didn't feel any need to rescue me from him!!! Michael was laughing at him!!!!!!

Poor Steve went on to tell me his life story, married at 23, divorced 18mths later, his current missus doesn't understand him, she got tickets for the big concert in Melbourne but didn't get him one, he wants a tribe of kids, how do you get pregnant because he's been 'going for it' with the missus but she isn't pregnant yet..... How the hell do you answer that one!!!! I just asked him if he had sheep, just to observe them.

He was a nice enough looking bloke, but why couldn't I have pulled the young man that Jemima was stalking! Sam was young (20), blond, thin but muscly, and his girlfriend didn't even mind that he danced with Jemima 5 times!! Poor Sam, Caitlin put his name down with Michael to sing Sweet Transvestite - he'd never seen Rocky Horror. The look of horror on his face during the non-duet was very funny! (Michael taught Sam 5 years ago at Casterton).

Mim and her object of affection, Sam

I even danced the Twist with Jemima and Stewie - well, we twisted and Stewie did the Milton Chook Scratch (he really does look like a chook scratching the dirt).

It was after karaoke finished at 1am and the bar closed that we could gather the troops to go home. Jemima had kept coming up to me and saying "I'm not tired!" (not surprising, she slept for three hours that afternoon), but she burst into tears when the karaoke finished, because she hadn't had a turn! Michael offered a lift home to Steve (who'd been insisting that he'd drive home!!) but Steve disappeared after Michael turned his back for two seconds.

All in all, it was a friggin' great night!

Braincell does it again

Friday the 13th was supposed to be a quiet day. I'd planned to do some housework (ie ironing) and then Jess had a vet appointment at 2pm for a quick check of her cast. Well, that was how the day was supposed to work.

The sheep jumped into the yard after Michael had left for work. I put Sarah outside on her chain, to prevent Lulu from coming into our back patio/shed thingy. I'd bought a bag of oats on Thursday and some lucerne, and Lulu had decided that she likes oats. Really, really likes oats.

I thought I was smart, I'd shut all the solid doors so Jess couldn't push open the screen doors, as she is wont to do. Not smart enough though. Mim started yelling "Mum, Mum, Jess is outside!" I went inside to discover that Braincell had jumped up on the lounge and pushed out the screen on the window and jumped over 5 feet to the garden bed below - all with a broken leg!!!!! I expected to find a whimpering crushed body below the window, maybe another two or three broken bones, or at least the pinned bone beyond repair.

But no, the Bitch went racing around the outside of the house, through a gap in the fence, up the western paddock, along to the eastern paddock and up to the top paddock. Through wet grass. There was nothing wrong with her leg. It took me five minutes of chasing after her, she'd run so far and then stop and look at me as if to say "ha, ha, you can't catch me". I ended up using trickery, bending down and calling for Morticia (the cat). Braincell couldn't resist, she came loping up and I pounced on her.

The bandage was soaked! And it's not supposed to get wet. So, rang the vet and arranged to take her straight over to be checked out.

Did I mention that it was foggy? As in most of the trip to Casterton was through a white wall, where visibility was only about 30m?

Left Braincell at Casterton and drove home, too exhausted to even think of ironing. Went back a few hours later to get her - no damage at all! The wound was healing well and the vet took out the stitches a day early and put a new bandage over the cast.

What catastrophe is that dog going to be involved in next?????

It's like living with Captain Ahab!

In the still of the night, with only the muted sounds and flickering blue light of the TV emanating from the lounge room, the quiet is almost absolute..... except for the thump.....thump.....thump.... of Captain Ahab pacing the decks looking for Moby Dick. No wait - it isn't Ahab, it's Jess and her cast. Walking down the hallway.

Or we get thump.thump.thump.thump as she pelts down the hallway in pursuit of the cat/Gomez/Sarah/Jemima/ or just for the sake of it. She can even jump up onto all of our beds (except Caitlin's loft bed of course).

You'd think a broken leg would slow someone down, but no. Dogs cope quite well on three legs, the fourth is an added bonus.

Twice, she has gotten out the door and flown up the paddock in search of some sheep to round up. The cast doesn't slow her at all. I live in fear of the sheep managing to bunt her leg and rebreak it!

Ladies, what do you think?

I'd like to know what you readers think about this legal ownership of property conundrum that is facing me.

Say your partner was given a Terry's Orange Chocolate before Christmas last year, and that Orange Chocolate is still sitting in the fridge. Bearing in mind that chocolate has a use by date of less than 48 hours after purchase (ignore the date the manufacturers give you on the box, they have no idea what they are talking about), and the fact that the chocolate has been untouched for almost 3 months - does this mean that the property has been abandoned????? And is up for grabs by any chocoholic (aged over 21, Caitlin and Jemima)!!!

Also bear in mind that said ex-owner of chocolate would leave his Easter eggs in the fridge until almost Christmas!

Let me know what you think!?!?

Marg, Marg, the rains are here!

Yes, we've had a few showers over the last 24 hours. This is worthy of its own blog. Although most of the showers are that very fine rain (poofter fairy rain, Michael likes to call it, no offense to any homosexuals reading this, Michael just likes to show off his crimson cervix (redneck) tendencies to offend people), there have been at least two occasions that I've listened to water streaming down the downpipes ... and into our water tanks. The tank levels have risen an inch in the last 24 hours ... so KEEP RAINING!!!!

Disaster Dog Does It Again

Jess is a harbinger of bad luck. First, her existence as a puppy was under threat, she was to be shot if the farmer couldn't give her away.

Next came the grass seed in the neck on Christmas Eve.

Her latest catastrophe; as Caitlin was walking (running) her on Monday night, Jess stepped in a hole and hurt her leg. The paw was hanging at 45 degree angle to her leg. The after hour vet we called said that if it wasn't a hip dislocation, she could wait until morning to be seen. So poor Jess spent Monday night in the laundry, hobbling around on three legs.

On Tuesday morning, I took her over to the vet in Casterton. We were lucky (?) that Kindy had been cancelled for the day, due to potential fire risks. It was very VERY gusty and still quite dry. The drive along the ridge to Casterton was fun, hanging onto the wheel for dear life as the car was pushed sideways on the road by the winds. At two points, visibility was very limited because of the dust flying across the road.

goodbye topsoil from the bushfire affected area

Anyway, the vet had a prod and guessed that her metacarpals were broken (the bones between your wrist and your knuckles. We arranged to leave Jess there so she could have some Xrays later in the morning. Mim was in tears as we left - would the vet look after Jess, would she be okay, would she have something nice for dinner???

The vet called just after lunch, the Xrays confirmed her diagnosis - all four metacarpals were fractured (if it'd just been two, she could have been splinted). She would require surgery and either pins or minibone plates to fix her. It would be expensive. Very expensive. Did we want her fixed?

Of course we wanted her fixed (well, Jemima and I did, didn't ask Michael for fear of what his opinion might be :) So surgery was arranged for Wednesday morning. It was successful. The two middle metacarpals were held together with minibone plates and the outside two were aligned and a splint put on her leg. She will require extensive TLC and be out of action for about 8 weeks. But she has youth on her side, the bones should heal quickly.


Of course, her splint and bandage MUST remain dry. So guess what - after months and months of no rain, it started raining yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bugger tempting fate by leaving the washing on the line, or leaving windows open - No, if you want to get it to rain, just arrange for your dog to break its leg and then spend over a thousand dollars having it fixed. Works every time!!!

Another year older, but certainly no wiser..

Last Saturday was the big 35. Half way to 70.

I'd sort of planned to visit the Wood,Wine and Roses festival at Heywood.... until I looked at the programme at the local paper, and realised it would be an expensive, yet boring day. So then I suggested that maybe we could drive down to Cape Bridgewater and Nelson, as I hadn't been down there yet. But they had bushfires down there so that didn't seem like a goer either.

Had to work Friday night, but it was dinner as usual at the pub. I placed my order with Michael before I left work and drove home to get changed before going back to the pub.

Imagine my surprise when I walked in to find Mum there! It was the best birthday present as I'd been missing her a lot.

So, on Saturday, we toured the highlights of Hamilton (that took 20 mins) and then went out to Tarrington for lunch. Service was abominably slow, and my hamburger was tepid. Mum's vegetable lasagne looked really good though. Then we drove home, via Penshurst, Dunkeld, Cavendish, through Coleraine, out to Merino, Sandford and then the back road that ends up near our property. Just a little drive!

Sunday, we went over to the Mount and did tourist things. We looked at the Blue Lake,


and the Cave Gardens,



watched some lunatic teenage boys dice with death (or at least with paraplegia) as they ran around the inside of the fence at Cave Gardens. Mim decided to pick us one of the many roses in the garden beds at the Gardens and got a bit upset when I told her that the flowers weren't for picking.


We dined at Macs Hotel and then drove home via Nelson, Dartmoor and Digby. At Nelson, we wandered down to the ocean beach and took a few shots of the southern ocean. Looked rather cool for swimming.

On Monday, Caitlin was given the day off school, so we took Mum for a drive over to Casterton, then back to Coleraine.
view from the Muntham

The girls really enjoyed her visit, as did I. Poor Nana didn't get to sleep on her own once, Mim was her personal hot water bottle. Hopefully next time you come down, Mum, it might be a bit greener (it'll definitely be cooler).


trying to prevent Nana from leaving

really really unattractive uniform!