These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in
A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
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Q: Can you send me the
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ....
oh forget it. Sure, the
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Q: Can I wear high heels in
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q: Are there supermarkets in
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Can you tell me the regions in
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in
A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: I was in
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
1 comment:
I've not seen it before! Very funny, but I have to be a nitpicker and say that the answer for the Christmas question is not wholly accurate. I grew up in Sydney and there were "Christmas in July" events/celebrations held at Katoomba every year. So, strictly speaking, Aussies don't just celebrate Christmas at Christmas :-)
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